...allllll the live long day....

So, I was off Sunday and decided to go looking for my poor missing puppy Mr. Burly. I walked up and down the railroad tracks around where some woman told me she thought she had seen him for HOURS. I was so exhausted and dehydrated by the time I made it back to a gas station to get a drink that I couldn't even think properly on how to get a hold of my sister to come get me. I felt like I'd spent the day working on the railroad. Got some funny looks from people who actually did too. And to no avail. My poor little man is still not home. It breaks my heart again every time I think about it. It's made it rather hard to focus on anything else lately.
Like, I should be focusing on my car that the transmission has quit working in. I now have no transportation and have to bum rides. I feel like a low life. I don't even have money saved so that I could buy a newish car....or means to get around to go shopping for one.
On top of all this, Friday was the day Mark went missing and then I had to stop looking for him so I could go to work. I posted an ad for missing poochy on craigslist and an hour or so later this woman calls to tell me "Oh, I'm positive I saw your dog. He was in the middle of the road and almost got hit by a semi but I didn't stop to pick him up." Thanks hooker, you will be the last person known to have seen my dog while I was stuck at work. I keep going into the shelter with his leash saying his collar matched THIS and he had on his black harness have you seen him? And all they can respond is "You look pretty optimistic." Thanks doucher, I just want my dog back. Not your UNinsightful comments. I'm still carrying his leash in my purse :(
Anyway, now that I've got that little off topic rant through with I can get back to the "on top of all this."
So, I'm at work Thursday night and this shit kicker little brat comes and starts ransacking my kiosk.. Not really, but sort of. This boy walks up with his girlfriend and some other kid with a speech impediment that hardly will talk to me. So Shit Kicker is asking me about all these teams and if I have them because you see, I sell sports lanyards and other licensed novelties. I show him my Florida Gators key chains and the Texas Longhorns bracelets. Well, his pals spread out around my kiosk making it a pain to watch all of them. Speech Impediment gets in between me and Shit Kicker while I keep telling Shit Kicker he doesn't have to slide all my bracelets off the pillar they are on because they have like a little sports ball shaped toggle. He keeps sliding away. Well, I didn't notice right away that he had in fact slid 2 bracelets off my pillar and not just one. AND at some point he pocketed the matching Texas lanyard and the Gators one. I continue trying to watch all the miscreants and be nice and polite and sell to them. My boss is of course in the store and I can see him keep eyeing them because he and the man in the store were quite suspicious of them. Well don't you know it, they round my kiosk one last time, stop on the other side from where they were fondling everything and Shit Kicker announces loudly "Let's go to Sears so I can shit," and off they go. Then comes the fun part of me having to go around my kiosk putting everything back in order. And then I notice it. The one and only football leather Texas Longhorn bracelet I had is missing. And look at that, I have a loose tag floating around on my counter. Lets just go have a look in my extra stock and at the numbers in my computer. Dumb little 17 year old doucher! I only had one bracelet in stock and I'm short the Texas lanyard. I was so angry I didn't even think to check  the Florida lanyards for a count. I of course think boss is dealing with a customer and don't want to interrupt but I had waited long enough for Helpful Guy to leave. Upon entering the store I gather that they are in fact discussing shoplifters and ask "Are we talking about shrink because we just had a bracelet walk away?" Oh dear Boss Man, he looks at Helpful and they bother concur that they thought that was what was happening. YAY, the fun part. I get left in charge of both stores as Boss Man and Helpful Guy bustle off to Sears in search of Shit Kicker and the posse. They don't find them but they do run into one of the Sears LPs(Loss Prevention). LP1 calls up LP2 to let him know there are some lifters hanging around and were thought to be in their store. Well how's this for a fun evening? LP2 is in the loo and in the stall next to him hears some boys going on about 'Dude look at all this shit I just stole.' Oh dumb, dumb 17 year old Shit Kicker, I've got you NOW my pretty!!!!(Evil cackle) Well, posse hasn't been caught stealing anything in Sears so they can't do anything to them, but LP2 proceeds to follow posse through the mall and to the food court. Along the way posse stops in American Eagle where LP2 watches as they pull tags off bracelets and presumably pocket them. It's not his store though so he can't do anything about it. Ohhhh, off to the food court. At this point mall security has been called and is waiting in the food court. So, Mr. Security gives our store a call and tells Boss Man he needs me in the food court to identify Shit Kicker and the stolen goods. Well, Boss Man informs me and as I head out the door he says "It's okay to run if you feel the need." Oh do I feel rude running past people trying to have a leisurely time in the mall, so I half speed walk half run until I am nearing the food court. At which point I feel that I need to slow my blood down just a tad because I would like to rip Shit Kicker's head off and scream into the hole so that I know his peanut brain has heard how offended and angry he has made me. Rounding the corner at Bath & Body Works here comes posse straight at me. I haven't had quite enough time to compose myself so I stop dead, like a deer in headlights. He's about 5 feet from me. It's a DAMN good thing. I would have decked him if he was in reach. I finally find my voice only to say "Excuse me, that's MY bracelet." Thank my lucky stars that I've quickly glanced behind posse to see Mr. Security, LP1 and LP2, AND Helpful Guy. It's an exhilarating feeling to have that many people on your side :) but if they HADN'T been there I definitely would have been in attack mode and may have killed the brat as I notice he not only has on MY unpaid for bracelet but has also got that matching lanyard hanging from his pocket. Shit Kicker wanted to argue with me "What are you talking about this is mine," until Mr. Security and the Good Guys showed up behind him and asked me if this was in fact who I believed to have my merchandise. To which I looked at Mr. Security and told him that was MY bracelet Shit kicker was wearing. I was too jittery to even start on the lanyard or the fact that he did NOT have a hat when he was at my kiosk. So we parade the posse through the mall from the food court all the way back to my kiosk. People from the other stores started coming out to see what was going on. Boy did I feel victorious. Thought he was a sneaky little bastard, show him how wrong he is! Anyway, the posse and the Good Guys make it back down to the kiosk (on our way being joined by an officer) and Boss Man says "Yes, I want to prosecute!" and Officer proceeds to tell Shit Kicker he better cooperate so things go easy. Well, Shit Kicker doesn't cooperate and Officer has to pull everything out of Shit Kicker's pockets for him. Any guesses what happened next? That's right, Officer pulls out MY Gators lanyard. AND a jumble of leather bracelets. Most of those came from American Eagle. Nearly $120 worth! But then there were a few left over that weren't from American Eagle, turns out he made a stop at Holister before he got to my store. He had a few leather bracelets from there as well, maybe $40 worth. Don't you know I was one angry little lady! Goodness, this is a long winded story... even Mr. Security couldn't get over all the details... Well, anyway everything Shit Kicker took from me ended up totalling $33.01, that was all I got questioned about. Oh and whether or not I physically witnessed him pocketing the stuff, which I didn't but I had the tag he left on the counter and the computer inventory and I SAW him wearing my things in place of the Purdue lanyard and NO bracelet he had before so that was good enough. It did turn out that LP2 watched him buy the hat he didn't have before he stole from me though so he was good there. It was quite the end to my work day as it consumed the last 2 and 1/2 hours of my Thursday work night. Unfortunately, when one makes a citizen's arrest they expect said citizen to show up in court against little doucher Shit Kickers. Thank goonies his little girlfriend didn't get caught with anything! She looked pretty miserable through the whole process and as they cuffed doucher and took him to the juvenile center.
Bitsy, I hope you enjoy....

ALSO :) During my lengthy tirade I got THE BEST phone call ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY BABY IS FOUND! OH Marky Mark how I can't wait to get you home!!!!!
Also, to my silly boy, Happy Birthday<3