i..aye..eye

i! I want a LoopyBoopy doll. They are so cute and sad and lovely. I need to figure out something to name this random cat that silly brought home saturday night. I would like to find a different (bigger) apartment to move to, soon would be nice. I GOT A RAISE YESTERDAY. (That's the most exciting. Everything else is just a rant.)
Aye!! I hate boys. One in particular. That I can't stay away from. Even though I've done very well to cut him out of things. The more I do, he plays dirty trying to convince me not to. He should learn that he's always picked the nasty, trashy, mean spirited people over the one who would have given him everything and given up anything to be with him and make him happy. It's just not going to happen ever again. Yes, it sucks thinking about the happily ever after that has been cancelled. But I DIDN'T DO IT! YOU DID!!
Eye! I do not want to come see you! You make me feel bad about myself, you treat me like I'm not really a part of your family and I'm beneath you. You ask me for things and expect things and then turn around and talk crap about me to your "real" family. Well, I will not come see you when you're done with everyone else you deem more important than me. I will not let you treat me like an awful person because YOU "take care of our brother and father" and I don't ever do anything to contribute. FUCK YOU. I do just as much as you. WITHOUT the recognition and shoving it in you OR anyone else's face. One day I will leave and you will be sorry for all the times you have treated me like I am not family, because when I leave I will no longer acknowledge you as family.
One day I would like to be far far away where the biggest problems I have to worry about are my animals and what I'm going to eat. Where I don't have to acknowledge the past and can live happily with just a few people who matter doing things that I enjoy on a regular basis. This place is a horrible place to live unless you like drama and that's the only way you thrive. It offers nothing but disgusting fatty frozen chain foods, dirty hobos and stuck up children of doctors and lawyers. I want no part of it anymore!
I just want my colors. And creativity. And inspiration. I don't even want the unrealistic goal of being happy all the time. Just part of the time. Even complacency would be inviting after this place. No constant stress and tension. More time to myself concocting spaghetti sauce or painting or playing a mindless video game (UP, for wii :) ) is DEFINITELY in oder. SOON. Or I shall lose my mind...maybe I will read Alice In Wonderland....or The Radix.....